-- Unknown", "First rule in goverment spending: why build one, when you can have two at twice the price?
-- Hadden Suit
(Contact)",
"I don\'t want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God\'s got a sick sense of humour, and when I die, I expect to find him laughing.
-- Depeche Mode", "The important thing is this: to be able at a moment, sacrifice what we are, for what we could become.
-- Charles du Bos", "Traveler, there is no path; the path is made by walking.
-- Spanish proverb", "Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself.
-- Chief Seattle", "Our fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerfull beyond measure. It is out light, not our darkness that frightens us.
-- Nelson Mandela", "Only when the last tree is dead, the last field paved, the last river dammed will we realize that we can\'t eat money!
-- Unknown", "No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards die for their country.
-- George Smith Patton", "If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Sir Isaac Newton", "Just because you're paranoid doesn\'t mean some one isn\'t out to get you...
-- Unknown", "If I could get a firm grip on Reality, I\'d choke it.
-- Unknown", "Assume the worst about people, and you\'ll generally be correct.
-- Scott Adams", "This is the only time I\'m ever going to say this, It is not okay to lose!
-- Homer Simpsons", "Science is like sex, sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it.
-- Richard Feynman", "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man\'s character, give him power.
-- Abraham Lincoln", "Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don\'t.
-- Unknown", "He\'s not dead, He\'s electroencephalographically challenged.
-- Unknown", "Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
-- Unknown", "Someone you trust is one of us.
-- Unknown", "The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.
-- Hubert Humphrey", "People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it\'s safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
-- Unknown", "To you I\'m an atheist, to God, I\'m the Loyal Opposition.
-- Woody Allen", "First things first, but not necessarily in that order.
-- Doctor Who", "Someone\'s boring me. I think it\'s me.
-- Dylan Thomas", "Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn\'t have in your home.
-- David Frost", "The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
-- Unknown", "And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
-- Buckaroo Banzai", "The only normal people are the ones you don\'t know very well.
-- Joe Ancis", "It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English -- up to fifty words used in correct context -- no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.
-- Carl Sagan", "A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
-- Joseph Stalin", "Don\'t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
-- Unknown", "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
-- Then Vice President Dan Quayle", "The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
-- Mark Twain", "The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.
-- Mark Russell", "Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
-- David Dunham", "Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them.
-- Paul Valery", "I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.
-- Nancy Reagan", "It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
-- James Thurber", "There are more of them than us.
-- Herb Caen", "Excuses are like assholes, Everybody has one and they both stink.
-- Unknown", "The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad.
-- Salvador Dali", "You only have power over people so long as you don\'t take everything away from them. But when you\'ve robbed a man of everything, he\'s no longer in your power - he\'s free again.
-- Alexander Solzhenitsyn", "Television is the first truly democratic culture -- the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.
-- Clive Barnes", "We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time capsules in order to give those people living in the next century or so some idea of what we are like. I have prepared one of my own. I have placed some rather large samples of dynamite, gunpowder, and nitroglycerin. My time capsule is set to go off in the year 3000. It will show them what we are really like.
-- Alfred Hitchcock", "The city is not a concrete jungle, it is a human zoo.
-- Desmond Morris", "What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
-- Bertolt Brecht", "I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.
-- James Thurber", "Anywhere is walking distance, if you\'ve got the time.
-- Steven Wright", "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be.
-- Kurt Vonnegut", "In waking a tiger, use a long stick.
-- Mao Tse-tung", "He who lives by the sword, will eventually be wiped out by some bastard with a sawn off shotgun.
-- Steady Eddy", "If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?.
-- Steven Wright", "The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
-- Unknown", "For most folks, no news is good news. For the press, good news is not news.
-- Gloria Borger", "The Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
-- Andrew Brown", "How do you govern a country which has 246 different kinds of cheese?
-- Charles De Gaulle", "A common mistake people make, when trying to design something completely foolproof, is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
-- Douglas Adams", "Truly great madness can not be achieved without significant intelligence.
-- Henrik Tikkanen", "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
-- Albert Einstein", "There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
-- G. B. Shaw", "History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
-- Churchill", "A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.
-- Oscar Wilde", "If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
-- Albert Einstein", "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March, 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.
-- Greenville County (S.C.) Department of Social Services", "I\'m from Iowa, I only work in space.
-- William Shatner as Kirk, in Star Trek IV-The Voyage", "Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives.
-- John Stuart Mill", "The three dots \'...\' here suppress a lot of detail -- maybe I should have used four dots.
-- Donald Knuth", "Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
-- Last words of Pancho Villa", "If at first you don\'t succeed, failure may be your thing.
-- Warren Miller", "I, on the other hand, have a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and three gold stars from the Kindergarten of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me.
-- Captain Edmund Blackadder", "Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
-- Wernher von Braun", "Creativity is more important than knowledge.
-- Albert Einstein", "The basis for optimism is sheer terror.
-- Oscar Wilde", "Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
-- Groucho Marx", "A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.
-- Segal's Law", "If you rest, you rust.
-- Helen Hayes", "Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
-- Ogden Nash", "Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered -- either by themselves or by others.
-- Unknown", "I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein", "The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
-- Robert Frost", "My definition of a redundancy is an air-bag in a politician\'s car.
-- Larry Hagman", "I\'m not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I\'ve noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.
-- Bethania McKenstry", "If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
-- Albert Einstein", "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
-- Albert Camus", "Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism. Copy from two, it\'s research.
-- Wilson Mizner", "To obtain a man\'s opinion of you, make him mad.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes", "Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused.
-- Unknown", "It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
-- Alfred Adler", "It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.
-- Russian proverb", "Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
-- P. J. O\'Rourke", "No problem is so formidable that you can\'t walk away from it.
-- Charles Schulz", "Never give advice... A wise man won\'t need it A fool won\'t heed it.
-- Unknown", "If everybody\'s thinking alike, somebody isn\'t thinking.
-- Unknown", "No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.
-- Sam Rayburn", "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong", "When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway", "A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.
-- G. C. Lichtenberg", "To say something nice about yourself, this is the hardest thing in the world for people to do. They\'d rather take their clothes off.
-- Nancy Friday", "Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
-- Spanish Proverb", "In New York City, one suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage space.
-- Judith Stone", "Living in a vacuum sucks.
-- Adrienne Gusoff", "A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows.
-- Monica Piper", "I fear nothing so much as a man who is witty all day long.
-- Madame de Sevigne", "Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him of the entire weekend.
-- Zenna Schaffer", "If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.
-- Thomas Szasz", "Feeding the starving poor only increases their number.
-- Ben Bova", "When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes.
-- Henry Miller", "We\'re more popular than Jesus now. I dont know which will go first, rock \'n\' roll or Christianity.
-- John Lennon", "It\'s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can\'t eat for eight hours, he can\'t drink for eight hours, he can\'t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
-- William Faulkner", "Big Brother is watching you.
-- George Orwell", "By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he\'s wrong.
-- Charles Wadsworth", "Any colour - so long as it\'s black.
-- Henry Ford", "I love mankind. It's people I can't stand.
-- Charles Schultz", "In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea.
-- Douglas Adams in The hitchhiker\'s guide to the unirverse.", "In the long run, we are all dead.
-- John Maynard Keynes", "The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
-- Muhammad Ali", "As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something.
-- Hagar the Horrible", "Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it\'s just the opposite.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith", "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
-- Henry Louis Mencken", "Life is what happens while you are making other plans.
-- John Lennon", "He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.
-- Steven Wright", "There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
-- Steven Wright", "When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped.
-- Marcel Achard", "What if we are all victims of a mass delusion and nothing exists? In that is the case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
-- Woody Allen", "The Problem with Reality is the lack of background music.
-- Unknonw", "If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and none dare criticize it.
-- Unknown", "I don\'t know exactly what democracy is. But we need more of it.
-- Anonymous Chinese Student, during protests in Tianamen Square, Beijing, 1989", "A small town is a place where there\'s no place to go where you shouldn\'t.
-- Burt Bacharach", "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C.", "Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
-- Dave Barry", "Sure, it\'s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review", "A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary.
-- Thomas Carruthers", "This compact disc is made from analog masters recorded without noise reduction. Half the tracks, in fact, were recorded in a dismal, cheap basement eight-track studio with puddles of water on the floor. Digital technology will now faithfully reproduce these noisy, low-fi, un-professional masters at great expense. feel stupid yet?
-- Disclaimer on a CD", "I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
-- W.C. Fields", "These people have served a longer sentence than some people who have committed murder.
-- Jeff Greenfield, news analyst, describing the jury in the OJ Simpson murder trial, 1995", "Maybe this world is another planet\'s hell.
-- Aldous Huxley", "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
-- Rich Jeni", "I find television very educating. Every time sombody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
-- Groucho Marx", "I would have made a good Pope.
-- Richard Nixon", "There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
-- Will Rogers", "Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-- Unknown", "Love and stoplights can be cruel.
-- Sesame Street", "By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.
-- Socrates", "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.
-- Bill Watterson", "When I have a kid, I wanna put him in one of those strollers for twins, then run around the mall looking frantic.
-- Steven Wright", "In God we trust, all others must pay cash.
-- Unknown", "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.", "Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 19,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and perhaps only weigh 1.5 tons.
-- Popular Mechanics, March 1949.", "Positive thinking doesn\'t sound like a very good idea to me. I\'m sure it doesn\'t work. And if it does, it\'s probably real hard to do.
-- Unknown", "A man\'s dreams are an index to his greatness.
-- Zadok Rabinwitz", "Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
-- Japanese Proverb", "A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.
-- Opening scene of Faust", "If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
-- Unknown", "Pay no attention to what the critics say. No statue has ever been erected to a critic.
-- Jean Sibelius", "If the going is real easy, beware, you may be headed down hill.
-- Unknown", "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
-- Confucius", "You can\'t expect people to look eye to eye with you if you are looking down on them.
-- Unknown", "You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.
-- Unknown", "People don\'t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.
-- Unknown", "The only job where you start at the top, is digging a hole.
-- Unknown", "Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box.
-- Unknown", "You can\'t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.
-- Shira Tehrani", "Minds are like parachutes, they function only when open.
-- Unknown", "When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so regretfully upon the closed door that we don\'t see the one that has opened for us.
-- Alexander Graham Bell", "A strong person and a waterfall always channel their own path.
-- Unknown", "Use what talent you possess. The woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.
-- Henry Van Dyke", "You pile up enough tomorrows, and you\'ll find you\'ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.
-- Professor Harrold Hill (The Music Man)", "If you don\'t learn from your mistakes, there\'s no sense making them.
-- Unknown", "Hell is the knowledge of opportunity lost, the place where the man I am comes face to face with the man I might have been.
-- Unknown", "You live with your thoughts, so be careful what they are.
-- Unknown", "The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
-- Ann Landers", "Every man goes down to his death bearing in his hands only that which he has given away.
-- Persian Proverb", "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
-- Martin Luther King", "If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can\'t buy.
-- Unknown", "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
-- Margaret Mead", "Take the first step in faith. You don\'t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
-- Martin Luther King", "For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, \'What might have been\'.
-- John Greenleaf Whittier", "The best leader brings out the best in those he has stewardship over.
-- J.Richard Clarke", "There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family, not as many separate ones.
-- Anwar el Sadat", "We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
-- Martin Luther King", "He who has not forgiven an enemy has never yet tasted one of the most sublime enjoyments of life.
-- Lauter", "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?
-- Abraham Lincoln", "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.
-- Unknown", "Three Step Plan. 1. Take over the world. 2. Get a lot of cookies. 3. Eat the cookies.
-- Unknown", "You can't fool all the people, all the time. But you can some of the people, some of the time. And make a damned good living.
-- Unknown", "I may disagree vehemently with what you say, but I will fight to the death for your right to say it.
-- Francois-Marie Arouet de Voltaire", "If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
-- Unknown", "An image had better be worth a 1000 words -- it takes longer to download.
-- Unknown", "Which is worse, Ignorance or Apathy? Who knows? Who cares?
-- Unknown", "I lived through the IPO Rush of \'99.
-- Unknown", "Success is dangerous. One begins to copy oneself, and to copy oneself is more dangerous than to copy others. It leads to sterility.
-- Pablo Picasso", "I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
-- Lieutenant Colonel Kilgore (Apocalypse Now)", "I\'m the bad guy?
-- D-FENS (Falling Down)", "They\'re not gonna catch us. We\'re on a mission from God!
-- Elwood (The Blues Brothers)", "Yippe-ki-yi-yay, Motherfucker!
-- John McClane (Die Hard)", "I\'ll be back.
-- The Terminator", "I want to look good naked!
-- Lester Burnham (American Beauty)", "Those who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they themselves must pass.
-- Confucius", "640K ought to be enough for anybody.
-- Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates 1981", "Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That\'s relativity.
-- Albert Einstein", "If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn\'t like me, I\'ve got to get out.
-- Marlon Brando", "Uh, uh, uh - I know what you\'re thinking. You\'re thinking \"did he shoot six shots, or only five?\" Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I forgot myself. But, bein\'s this is a 44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, that\'ll blow your head CLEAN off, you\'ve gotta ask yourself a question: \"Do I feel lucky?\" Well do ya......PUNK?
-- Dirty Harry",
"\"One World, one Web, one Program\" - Microsoft promotional ad
\"Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Fuhrer\" - Adolf Hitler",
"1984 - Orwell was only off by a decade or two.
-- Unknown", "Deception is a state of mind - and the mind of the state
-- James Angleton", "The greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing everyone he didn\'t exist.
-- Verbal Kent (Usual Suspects)", "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
-- Voltaire", "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he\'ll be a mile away - and barefoot.
-- Unknown", "Trying to have sex at my age is like trying to play pool with a rope.
-- George Burns", "If it bleeds, we can kill it.
-- Dutch (Predator)", "It\'s not an easy thing to meet your maker.
-- Roy Batty (Blade Runner)", "His ass is so tight, when he farts only dogs can hear it.
-- Lenny (Strange Days)", "I wanted to meet stimulating and interesting people of an ancient culture, and kill them.
-- Joker (Full Metal Jacket)", "Prayer does not change God, but changes him who prays.
-- Soren Kierkegaard", "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
-- Clarence Darrow", "Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche", "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
-- Pablo Picasso", "Health nuts are going to feel stupid some day, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
-- Redd Foxx", "It doesn\'t signify anything. I just BUILT it.
-- Alexander Calder, at the unveiling of a sculpture at MIT", "If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we\'ve solved it.
-- Arthur Kasspe", "Eagles may fly, but weasles don\'t get sucked into jet engines!
-- Unknown", "I suffer, therefore I am alive!
-- Unknown", "It has been discovered that research is the number one cause of cancer in lab rats
-- Unknown", "What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist.
-- Salman Rushdie", "I am the voice of my own God.
--John McClain (Die Hard. with a vengeance)", "Even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.
-- Martin Luther King", "Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
-- Unknown", "I don\'t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Unknown", "If you demand money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called \"blackmail\". If your lawyer demands money from someone in exchange for your silence, it\'s called \"a settlement\".
-- Unknown", "You\'re just jealous cause the voices talk to me and not to you!
-- Unknown", "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes time and it annoys the pig.
-- Mark Twain", "The heart has it\'s reasons which reason does not know.
-- Pascal", "Make the most of yourself for that is all there is of you
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson", "Hamlets diskurs er en ekskurs i intertekstuel rekontekstualisation.
-- Svend!", "I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying.
-- Woody Allen", "You know you're a geek when you see a kid in an alligator costume on halloween and think \"Oh, look, he dressed up as Mozilla.\"
-- Mark Newhouse", "God is dead and I don't feel all too well either....
-- Ralph Moonen", "If you have an apple, and I have an apple, and we exchange the apples, then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea, and I have an idea, and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.
-- George Bernard Shaw", "It is not the brains that matter most, but that which guides them - the character, the heart, generous qualities, progressive ideas.
-- Dostoyevsky", "Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
-- Sartre", "You don\'t need eyes to see, you need vision.
-- Unknown", "He who is the most slow in making a promise is the most faithful in the performance of it.
-- Rousseau", "There are always four sides to every story\: your side, their side, the truth, and what really happened.
-- Uknown", "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don\'t know.
-- Mark Twain" ); var txt = 'test'; function change(txt){ var txt = quote[Math.floor(Math.random()*quote.length)]; if (document.all) citat.innerHTML=txt else if (document.layers){ document.d1.document.d2.document.write(''+txt+'') document.d1.document.d2.document.close() } }